Something that feels like home.

God I haven't updated this page in ages. I've noticed that I usually update my online accounts during holidays, when I have all the time in the world. :)) (especially holidays that require me to be up until 12mn hahaha!) 

So the exam is finally over, and I am not really expecting something good, honestly. The funny thing is whatever the result is, even if it is a positive one, I think in this case the process to the big finale is actually greater than the finale itself. I met awesome new people, played a sport I never dreamed of playing, experienced things I had no idea would happen to me, actually had a few resolutions from last year happen, and finally found home. 

I'll save the details for my next update w/c will more likely be on New Year's Eve hahahaha!

I'm pretty sleepy and I've been jumping from one video game to tv sitcoms just to keep me awake, but the reality is all day I've been thinking of just one thing.

How much I miss this boy and the fact that I can't wait to punch him in the guts then force him to take those stuffed animal rides for a spin again.

Currently,

It's Sunday, the first day of the week and it's already raining. The air conditioner is on at full blast. I make myself a cup of coffee. I half grimaced at the pack of French Vanilla coffee which he gave me. Ah well. A streak of lightning passes my window followed by the groaning thunder which I swear made the ground shake. I close the blinds. I start listening to Death Cab. Soul Meets Body. I grew up thinking that the area in mountains where the land ends and the clouds greet the earth is where some people went to die. I remember a phrase I randomly said to a friend, when we were having fun and I suddenly fell silent. I am tempted to smoke again. I look at the pile of old and weather-beaten Jack Kerouac books on the table and accidentally sat on Charles Bukowski.

He was right, you know. In reality, the future has become more of a threat than a promise.

Freak Accident

For the past few days, I have been having repetitive dreams about one person. One who definitely shouldn't be there anymore. Last night was the most awful one I felt like crying when I woke up. Seriously, it has been more than 6 years. Ex-boyfriends should stay that way unless you were friends. EX-cluded from you life.

As far as relationships go, I think I've only met 1 person who meant that much to me. I mean, sure, I've had flings here and there, even had 3 of them happening at the same time, but that was all entertainment and ego-boosters. None of them were really serious. From the get go, it was already an unwritten contract that none of us would harbor any deep feelings for each other, so when it ended, it just ended. No drama. No deep and meaningful talk on how we enriched each other's lives but sometimes you have to let go, none of that bullshit. When one of us got bored, we just packed our bags and said adios. And that's the way I liked it. No fuss, no muss.

Of course it wasn't always that way. I mean, seriously, one doesn't go from fling to fling without at least experiencing the real thing.

In my case, it happened in high school. NOT GONNA GO INTO THAT MUSHY DETAIL. All I'm saying is that I really liked the guy, but it was just too messy and complicated, and as time went by, I soon realized the main thing about it: it was one-sided. I used to feel bad about being in love with a guy who didn't love me back the way I wanted him to. But I just got over it after a while.

So anyway, THAT guy. I didn't have any sort of communication with him for 4 years. During my senior year in college around August, I saw Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless mind and quoted Alexander Pope's poem on my Facebook status. The next day, I was just… SHOCKED to see a familiar name and face on my friend request page. It was him. After 4 years. He probably searched me up (that would have been the only way, since we didn't have any common friends at all in Facebook).

I wasn't bitter, but it still stung. You don't just add people on Facebook like that, especially not an….. (dare I say it…) ex. I mean, the Facebook theme goes "Re-connect with old friends!" not "Re-connect with old lovers whom you sent hate mails to!"

But not adding him up would make me look like a snob and a loser. So I added him up and went to visit his page, and could only cover my mouth in shock to what I saw.

There, on the same day I quoted Alexander Pope, 5 MINUTES BEFORE I POSTED MINE, he quoted the very VERY same thing. Despite the 5 minute gap, there was no way in hell either one of us could have copied the other. He couldn't have copied me since obviously he posted it before I did, and neither could he see my wall, and I couldn't have copied him because… well why the fuck would I even do that?

Chills went through my spine. It seriously scared me. Rewind to my second year in high school, the way we met was COMPLETELY BY CHANCE AS WELL. It was one of those freak accidents or series of events that if JUST ONE tiny detail didn't happen, the result would have never happened at all. We didn't have any common friends. So if I had been doing something else that day we met, even being only a few minutes late, I would have never known him. Ever. He would have just  been another face I'd blankly look at if I passed by him. But no. Because I had done this and that, and maybe because he did this and that too, it ultimately lead to me meeting him. And since then he was not just another face anymore.

Obviously today it doesn't even matter. It is one of those fleeting events that used to mean a lot in the past but is something you don't even think about today. I just found it way too strange. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is about two ex lovers who somehow, despite all odds, found a way to be together again (even if their memory of each other was completely erased). 

Not that I'm saying that I want to be with him again. Times have changed and he's not really that magical and interesting anymore. And I'm pretty sure he doesn't want to be with me as well since he has a life of his own, and a current girlfriend at that. What I'm saying is, what was the point of meeting him? What exactly is the point of meeting someone against all odds if you two aren't going to end up together? What was the point of thinking of the same quote at the exact and precise moment? My friend told me it was too strange of a coincidence for something to not have a purpose. Was the fact that I met him, thought of the same thing at the same time despite years of no communication, only to reconnect with him again the next day, mean something? 

Ah, the questions I send to the cosmos.

It's awkward when...

Last Saturday, I accompanied my mom to our business in Polomolok, South Cotabato. It's sort of a garden/resort/restaurant thingy. :D It's actually pretty all in one since you can just stop by there, grab something to eat, walk around and enjoy the pretty scenery. Most people also hold their seminars/functions in one of our function halls.

When the weather is nice (which is pretty much almost all the time since it's not so humid there!) and it's not about to rain, there are people who go there for pictorials, mostly for weddings. Sometimes couples hold their weddings there as well which is perfect if you want a garden wedding.

Anyway, enough advertising. :)) Funny enough to say though, while I was there, I pretty much did the same activities I would normally do if I were at home and that was: USE THE LAPTOP :| I just kept using the wi-fi in the restaurant, getting free food and fattening myself up. D:

But I did manage to get up on my lazy ass and take pictures!

Faux Sakura

I think it's mating season in our butterfly garden :|

Favorite shot!

Oh and as for a side note, while I was roaming around, apparently one of the gardeners didn't recognize me and she asked me who the heck did I think I was and why was I picking the flowers and didn't I know that it wasn't allowed? It was SO awkward I seriously considered turning around and running away until another gardener showed up, smacked her by the back of the head and told her who I was.

Funny, but depressing. It is not the first time that it has happened to me. :|

Who wants to know

Today while waiting for the supposed-to-be end of the world, I got very very bored as there was nothing on TV (on HBO, they actually had this bullshit movie on, about those people with the bullet-shaped heads. I hated that movie since I was a kid) and decided to write about the strange experience I had a week or two ago. 

It is 100% non-fiction.

Once upon a frightful time, I rode a bus home to GenSan. It barely had any people since I left during the wee hours of the morning and had the double seats all to myself. Right before the bus left, a guy stepped in. Tall, mestizo, good looking (perhaps even too good looking), around my age, wearing checkered shorts, a blue collared shirt and a pair of aviator sunglasses.

"Gay," I automatically declared him in my mind, (Oh, let me tell you a thing about me, I can be very judgmental at times HAH!) as he sat on the aisle right next to mine.

An hour before arriving in Gensan, I was minding my own business, listening to music while looking at the scenery, when the said guy brushed my hand (I had my arm around my laptop bag, which was on the empty chair on my left.)

Me: …o_O

Guy: -says something inaudible since I still had the headset on-

Me: Ano?

Guy: Malayo pa ba ang GenSan?

Me: Oo. -puts headphones back on and looks out the window, annoyed-

Around 10 minutes of silence passed between us when he stood up, took my laptop bag and asked "Pwede umupo?" I must have looked pretty alarmed because he laughed and said "Hindi kasi ako taga GenSan. May itatanong lang sana ako."

And then for the next 50 minutes before arriving at our destination, I kept listening to him talking and talking, nodding once in a while so I wouldn't seem like a complete bitch. In the course of the 50 minutes, I found out that he's actually a dancer linked with the Bandila Fusion (HAH! SEE! I told you he was a homo! No one could belong in a dance group and dress like that and still be straight!), he's from Cotabato City studying in Davao as well, who was here for the weekend to visit a friend. 

In the middle of our conversation which consisted of him as the only one who was talking, he asked me "Ano nga ulit pangalan mo?"

This caught me off guard. I immediately thought of possible fake names, but they all seemed so ridiculous. I thought of Eowyn for crying out loud. Aw, what the hell. I'm never going to talk to this guy ever again anyway. "Rea"

"Leah?"

"No," I said, sounding annoyed. "Rea as in R-E-A."

The bus stops, we arrive at the station. I saw my father waiting for me outside by the car. I grabbed my bags and began to leave when he called me back. "Teka, friends kayo ni Maya Kikuchi?"

"O, bakit?"

"Add na lang kita sa Facebook."

UMMM, what? 

True to his words, the moment I opened my Facebook on the same day, there he was, with the tackiest profile picture ever (him without a shirt, showing off his abs of course), which was so typical of him.

Will continue this story later on...

The Butterfly Effect

I bought a blouse from Mango last week. Hilarious enough to say, I did the cardinal sin for every shopper: I didn't try it on before buying it. Weh, my mom was was in a hurry and I really didn't have time. I at least assumed that it would fit me.

So at home, I try it on and at first wore it as your average loose blouse. Then I discovered these ribbon things by the sleeves and assumed that it was meant to be put around the arm. This is what happens if worn correctly (at least I think this is the right way hah!)

Awkward face cropped out cuz I suck lol :(

You know, I'm not even so sure if it's supposed to be worn like that. I mean, it looks right, but it certainly doesn't feel like it. It's as if those ribbon thingies are cutting off the blood supply to my arms. Point is, I'm kind of hopeless at being a girl. Why do I even bother? I should have just bought a pair of baggy sweatpants and a loose shirt that has some \m/ symbol and the words "PUNK'S NOT DEAD" printed on the front.

Oh, and on a different note, for the first time in my entire life, I am able to say "I'm not sad it happened. I'm just glad that it's over." and mean every word of it.

5/15 Five things someone wouldn't know about you

1. I swear enough to make a sailor blush.

2. Most of my favorite books are are set during WW2 (a time period that I'm most interested in). My favorite picture in the world is of a soldier inside a train who grabbed his lover by the shoulders and kissed her one last time right before he leaves for the war. God knows if he survived, or if they ever saw each again.

3. The song Sleeping Child by Michael Learns to Rock used to make me cry when I was a kid

4. I really really want to become a pilot (brother, go buy that second hand plane already! 8D)

5. I have 8 firemen. ;p

6/15 Six things you accomplished today

1. Went to school to check my next completion schedule

2. Had the book store, library and guidance office sign my clearance.

3. Lied to the guidance councilor so I wouldn't feel so bad at myself at being a bum.

4. Went to a law firm to get an affidavit of loss and had the funniest conversation in a while

5. Shopped at Mango for clothes for myself and for mama as a gift ;p

6. Ate an entire pint of ice cream and didn't end up feeling like I wanted to hang myself. 

I'm not really in the mood to talk about anything right now. :/

I am never ever ever a morning person. All the more when I'm in my hometown, since my bed directly faces the east, and every morning I get a glimpse of what Kirsten Dunst might have felt in Interview With a Vampire. The only consolation I have for this is the delicious and meaty breakfast I have waiting for me downstairs.

This morning was an exception. I woke up late, and decided to have this as my breakfast, and my cure for an emotional hangover.

On a lighter note, my brother left for California yesterday. He is such a paranoid twat because he didn't bring his pirated House DVDs along for fear that he might get sent directly back to the Philippines if discovered. Right. As if not even the Queen herself buys something pirated once in a while. Or OK, I guess she doesn't, but that's not the point.

Hardiharhar

Anna: We were at Gelatissimo when the two had the weirdest conversation about you.

Me: …really. :|

Anna: Yeah, it kinda went like this…

Mike: Hey, isn't Rea like part Turkish or something?

Nikko: Yes. Why?

Mike: What if she was actually part of the Ottoman family or something and had royal blood in her and didn't know it?

Nikko: Wait, you mean you don't know?

Mike: Know what?

Nikko: Of course she does. She's part of the Royal House of Kebab.

Mike and Nikko: 

Me: 

Royally Flushed

Well, as I am typing this, I'm pretty sure all of you are aware that Kate Middleton is just a few minutes away from officially becoming a princess. While paying attention to this might make me seem like a fanatic, trust me, I really am not. It's just that, it's kinda hard to ignore it because everywhere I look, every website I go into, every frigging channel on TV is all about it. I can't even find solace in my room, because our helper had just asked me if I could turn on the TV so she can watch the wedding while cleaning my room.

I guess it has something to do with the whole fairy tale fantasy or something. The whole "happily-ever-after" and the frivolous wedding BS. Frankly, I don't see weddings as anything except as an ending period. I'm sure we've all heard of those horror stories people tell on the truth of what life really is after getting married, so I won't go into detail.

In other news, I did manage to surprise myself this year because of another obsession, which is Australia's Next Top Model Cycle 5. I mean, the directing of the show is awful, but the girls and the photoshoots, my God. My favorite is Tahnee and Clare, and I'm glad Cassy didn't win. IMO, she's an Australian version of a hill billy.

Tahnee as Elizabeth Taylor

Clare as Twiggy!

Ugh. Girls like them, they can make you feel like trailer trash in an instant. It's a crappy job, I know, plus you get judged by everyone solely on your looks and youth that is announced to be over at the age of 25, but let's face it, men worth chasing for like their girls skinny, beautiful, dumb and rich, and those girls have it all. But thankfully, I had my good friend Randy to make me think otherwise.

Randy: How many seasons of America's Next Top Model is there?

Jem: I dunno. 16?

Randy: 16?! Sixteen seasons?! How many top models does the world need?

A typical grocery experience

Today, as my brother and I were making a last-minute grocery shopping before everything else in town closed for the Holy Week, I ran into this old high school crush of mine. This is basically what came to my mind the entire time…

1. Oh my God! It's him!

2. It's really him!! What should I do?!

3. It's him oh my God!!!

4. Oh my God oh my God oh my God!

5. We need more Q-Tips

6. Wait… he looks kinda off…

5. Is that even him? Now I'm not even so sure.

7. Is that really him?

8. I AM POSITIVE!!! IT IS HIM!!!

9. What should I do??? Should I stop over and say hi? Would he freak and wonder why I still know him? But we're family friends for God's sake… 

10. I AM WEARING A DORAEMON T-SHIRT AND I HAVE NOT SEEN THIS BOY IN 4 YEARS. GOD FORBID I SHOULD GO NEAR HIM.

11. Oh my God oh my God, he's going this way!!!

12. What do I do? Hide behind a rack of deodorants?

13. What do I do?!?!?

14. Oh, shit. It's not him.

I'm pretty sure that I've said 'God' at that time more than a priest would averagely say during a mass.

Whatever, here's a muffin!

Red velvet yum :]

*headdesk*

I finally got Holden (my camera) back, and I thought I could polish my amateur photography skills and shoot to my heart's content when I realized: I left the fucking charger. Thought that was bad? Well it was only a teaser. Not only did I also accidentally leave the 3 books I bought so I wouldn't have to face the frigging laptop all throughout Holy Week (my own form of seeking penance), I also realized we are out of bread but ripe with a frigging jar of Nutella in the fridge. And you know what tops this epic story? We've bought my ticket but I am still unable to go to the trip.

At first I was all

 And when my own stupidity finally sank in...

And then finally

You be the judge if I'm being sarcastic or not :p

Anyway, here are two practice shots I did yesterday.

Guilty pleasure

Summer companions (minus the iPhone!)

Seriously.

My reaction upon seeing THIS on Tumblr:

Seriously you guys, take a chill pill. In case you forgot, you're on the fucking internet. If you think that was bad, you haven't seen an inch of what it truly has to offer. So be good boys and girls and just walk away and continue reblogging hipster stuff and stop feeding internet trolls what they want, mmmkay?

Oh boy.

GPOY. 

The Twilight Zone

Last March 25, 2011, my friends and I decided to finally put into action our little Odyssey. 

Believe me, we are not your run-of-the-mill college students going off on that obligatory college road trip that marks the end of adolescence. No. We did not have a cooler filled with beer, nor did we have any plans on going to far away bars and hooking up with random people who are just as drunk and stupid and impulsive as we are. No, on the way there we did not sing to the tune of Korn, Tokyo Police or Taylor Swift. During our epic road trip, we sang to the tune of I Can't Wait To Be King, A Girl Worth Fighting For and Hakuna Matata. 

And yes, we did enjoy every single moment of it. :))

Fail copy of Abbey Road haha

Giant crucifix at the resort

I think it's kind of sad that the moment we reached our first pine trees and fogged filled landscape, the first thing that came to my mind was Twilight. I could have thought of any other movie, but no, I just had to come up with Twilight. (and if you're wondering, no I so do not like that movie or book, so don't bother asking)

Welcome to the Twilight Zone 

The pools near the the falls 

It was pretty small, but cool nonetheles

Built in the middle of nowhere :))

Road kill!

On the way home, Jem bought some Strawberry Jam and Pickled Quail Eggs (except on the sticker on the jar, it said Egg Pickles o_O Eggs and pickles… why does that send off a wrong mental image? Hahahaha)

As for our last stop, here we have Epol Falls. Long story short, the trip down and back up was so not worth the view. I mean, it friggin rained on our way back up. We looked like those people on those documentaries where they ended up getting lost in the amazon for days. :))

Were the broken sandals and near dengue attack worth it? 

Note to self: Take Before and After pictures during every trip haha!

What do we have here...

So I made a new blog.

Blogging became such a huge part of my life, especially during high school. I used to document every single thing that happened to me, up to my graduation. I have to admit, I made those blogposts mainly because I was trying to reach out to someone. :p Although the posts started to recede when I entered college. By the end of my second year, I deleted my posts in my livejournal account, which was my main blog for 2 years maybe, and started to lay low with my Vox account, which only a few people knew about. It didn't even matter anyway. I barely posted on it. Then of course, like all things that start to fade, it disappeared completely. I stopped writing on Christmas Eve of 2009. I'm precise about the date because a boy broke my heart that night. Yes, on Christmas Eve. What an asshole!


Anyway, the real fun started during my 3rd year. Srsly. It came to the point that I had too many things to think about, to write and tell everyone about, that I didn't know where to start. The irony of it is I never did.


I had a tumblr account for a while too, but it got too annoying after a while. Plus they kept stealing the pictures I took -_- 


So without further ado, here's Rea version 2.0! Quicker and definitely wiser. ;)

A slight wardrobe change was in order too hah!