I do not trust my parents.
I don't mean that as if I've just broken the law and if I tell them they'll surely rat on me kind of trust (that would be weird) neither in a way that they're out to gossip about me behind my back (even weirder, and I don't really care :|) I mean that in an emotional security kind of sense.
I am not willing to give the honor of trusting my parents that if I one day fail in the future, they will be there to back me up or help me stand on my two feet again. I can assure you that they'll watch me, yeah along with everyone else, but to provide you that swift kick in the arse that brings sense back to your head? Hah. I'll be overestimating them if they even give me a friendly pat.
I know what you're thinking. That I am too old for this teenage angst. But there isn't anything angsty about this. I don't hate my parents. I don't feel the need to whine on how unfair they were to me and how I much I need my freedom and that Mom, I'm already 21. I have my own life! I don't hate them, but that doesn't mean I trust them.
I do not believe that my parents will one day take me in their arms if ever my boyfriend breaks up with me. In case something worse than a breakup happens in my life, like that crashing realization that you have been one hell of a failure, I don't think my parents will come knocking to my door with that cheesy and reluctant "Let's talk about it." line. There will be that awkward meal, awkward stares, and the awkward whispering behind my back on what to do with me, but not the actual actions.
I do not resent my parents for this. They are just those kinds of people. I am a bit disheartened, but I cannot change who they are. I do not trust my parents that they will be strong for me when the time comes that I will be weak. I will never give them that much credit. So I will just have to be twice as strong for my own good.
